Friday, June 17, 2011

Offensive job offers

I am not a mean person. At least, not intentionally. I hate thinking bad of others and I want to trust others unconditionally until I am proven wrong. However, sometimes there are situations when being sarcastic, sardonic and ironic is the only possible way to keep my sanity without lapsing into lengthy periods of utter disappointment with the world and the people populating it.


Getting an MBA at an institution like IE Business School will not cost you nowadays less than EUR 50 K and those who go to Financial Management classes know that the net present value of any investment ideally should be positive (otherwise you are just a crappy manager). So why would a recruiter offer anything to a candidate, who has just got an MBA from a respectable school, employment terms under which getting to a break-even point will take an eternity?

I was on a train taking me to San Sebastian for a week of sheer enjoyment devouring absolutely divine basque pintxos and cider, basking in the sun on the beach and working on the final exam, time permitting. We were about half-way there when I received a phone call. I am presenting you with the rough translation from Spanish into English:

Recruiter: Hi, I am a recruiter from the Hay Group and I would like to find out if you would be interested in a Consultant position with us.
Sergey: Wow, that's great! Hay is one of my preferred employers.
Recruiter: Thanks. Then, since you have already had a conversation with one of our partners, we will continue the recruitment process. Just so that you know, we are offering a great starting package and for the first year your salary will be nineteen thousand euros.
Sergey: Really? Great! Nineteen a month - even more than McKinsey!
Recruiter: No, nineteen a year.
Sergey: Nineteen a year?
Recruiter: Yes, nineteen a year.
Sergey: One-nine?
Recruiter: Yes, one-nine.
Sergey: I don't want to seem arrogant, but I have just completed an MBA.
Recruiter: Well, you know, the country's in a crisis.
Sergey: I am sorry, I have to say that I am not interested.
At first I was shoked and then I started laughing. Luckily there was a friend nearby who shared the excitement. The "country's in a crisis" comment made the whole thing so ridiculous that I did not know whether to cry or laugh. I chose the latter.

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